I'm a mess...

There are days, such as today, that I realize what a mess I am. Today I feel like an empty body that does what it's supposed to do day in and day out lacking passion and zeal for life. I always know that it could be worse and there are so many people way worse off than I am but today all that is in my vision is ME. Dumb I know but all too true. I know Jesus loves me. I know God has a plan and His hand is in it all. But I'm so tired of hearing it. Today I desire more. More than waiting to get pregnant. More than desiring deep friendships. More than...home...work...church. I feel like most of the time I cruise on Auto Pilot. Not really taking in what life has to offer but rather making the motions just to get on to some other part of my life. I feel discontent with who I am and where I am in life. I want more.

Ok I just read the previous paragraph and I'm officially not only a mess but I sound like a disaster. I would not consider myself depressed or having major problems - although I sound like it. I am so blessed and I see all my blessing...I do. It's just this season of my life. I feel disconnected from life and others.

I like to call it a FUNK. I'm just in a rutty FUNK. It will get better I know it will. Great things are coming. I hope.