My Journey into Motherhood...

...as requested by a friend.

First I want to say Be Encouraged and Be Blessed. God has us in devine moments and we can't be so caught up in what we think is "it" for ourselves that we aren't being used to our utmost ability. And one HUGE bit of advice: Faith and prayer changes circumstances. I believe this with all my heart. So with that said I will start with my journey.

It all started May 12th 2007. My husband and I were leaving on a much needed vacation - a cruise to the Carribbean. And after much prayer and peace we decided this was an excellent time to start "trying". I left for this cruise in total expectation that I would come home pregnant...not the case AT ALL. This cruise began a 9 month trek of trying to conceive, that frankly was worth every painful moment.

To kind of front the situation, I have extremely irregular periods. My cycle could have been 45 days last month, 62 days this month and 76 days the next month. Which makes it EXTEMELY difficult to calculate ovulation...actually near impossible. So we try and try and try and every month as I sit on the toilet peeing on yet ANOTHER stick I sit there in fear of another negative...and guess what....again another negative. After all these months the results started to define me and my view on conception.....NEGATIVE. From May until November we tried and tried and I swore every month was "THE" month. In October I was due for my yearly pap smear but put it off because I just KNEW I was pregnant and didn't want to have to go in twice. So November rolled around and I gave in and called my doctor to schedule my pap. And the receptionist said Dr. Duke is pregnant and will be on maternity leave and won't be back in the office until after the first of the year. CRAP!!! I was crushed because I thought we could talk and get my irregular period issue straightened out. And it just rubbed it in a little more that I was NOT pregnant and there were SOOOO many women that were. And let me just say that when I called the Drs. office that day if they would have said come in tomorrow I would have. (which would have screwed up God's whole plan...read on...) So I wait and wait and we continue to try. And finally my appointment came around January 21st 2008. But 3 days before that a good friend sent me a book in the mail called Prayers and Promises for a Supernatural Childbirth. In the book it talks about claiming God's promises over your life and your baby. It also talks about how fear and faith can not co-exsist. It talks about how miscarriage is NOT from the Lord and how to claim the promises God has already spoken and completely have faith in them and HIM. So I had been reading this book having faith - the good kind...the moving mountains kind....so back to the story. Before I go on let me remind you that in all these months I NEVER knew when I ovulated. So I get to the Drs. office for my appointment and I go back armed with my 8 1/2 x 11 sheet of paper full of questions and my calendar with all my cycles for the year. I WAS READY!!! So Dr. Duke and I talk and she recommends temping, and ovulation tests. BORING!!! Is what I thought. Then she started the exam and she was feeling my ovaries and said "Veronica, if you are going to temp or take an ovulation test I would do that pretty soon." Worriedly, I said "in like a week or so? Is there something wrong???" and she said "Actually the exact opposite!! I feel the cyst on your ovary that bursts when you ovulate and it's fixing to burst. I would take an ovulation test like...today! Girl your ovulating!!" OH MY GOD!!! PRAISE JESUS!!! What an answer to prayer! I was so excited. So on my way back to work I stop by my house and take an ovulation test.....................SUPER POSITIVE!!! HOLY COW!!! I can still remember my heart skipping a beat. Ooooo, but one problem Derek (my husband) was out of town on business ALL WEEK. CRAP! Who cares, I drove and met him every night for a little rondevouis. :) Then started the long two week wait. I had decided that February 5th was the day I would test and not a day sooner. During these 2 weeks Satan kept putting crap comments in my head about how maybe this wasn't the month. That I was never going to get pregnant....maybe I couldn't ever get pregnant. WHAT A JERK!! PRAISE BE TO GOD!! He is my ROCK!! And every time Satan would put a negative thought in my head I spoke the promises of God. God has a plan for my life and my baby's. I WILL conceive in HIS HOLY NAME! I just kept hanging on to the fact that Jesus didn't devinely appoint all this to drop me now. I kept pushing through with faith.

I woke up that morning at like 6:00am. I took the test and waited and waited and WHAT DID I GET???..........another NEGATIVE. I stopped, as the tears started well up in my eyes, and started praising God for the blessing He has given me!! And right there in the bathroom sang praises to Him and told Him that even in the hardest time I still had faith!! I spoke to my body and claimed that my body WAS indeed pregnant IN JESUS' NAME! It was definately a faith testing moment. But I am proud to say I passed it with flying colors. I did not revert back to my old negative crying self. I stood strong (still crying but for a different reason this time). And I did, I honestly had faith that I was still pregnant. So I waited 3 days and took another test. I waited and waited and then I thought I saw it...was that a line??? It was so faint. Too faint to be sure. I asked Derek, he said he saw it but wasn't sure either. So thoughout that day I took 5 tests. All were SUPER faint. I called a friend and she said "GO BUY A DIGITAL TEST!!!" So I did and what did it say???? PREGNANT!!!! Derek and I both started crying. This was our moment. The very moment we had been waiting for for 9 months. We couldn't have been happier. We told EVERYONE!! AND ALL THE PRAISE AND ALL THE GLORY GOES TO JESUS CHRIST!! MY ROCK!! Over the next 3 days I took 6 prenancy tests and, of course, all were positive!

Now I am 10 weeks pregnant and loving every minute of it. I've never been so happy to be so sick and tried. :) I have my second Drs. appointment Friday and I am so excited. And let me say, those "long" 9 months are just a moment in time now.

BE ENCOURGED. BE BLESSED. AND HAVE FAITH EVEN WHEN IT HURTS.