Updated just for you Christy!! haha
Occasionally I think (ok who are we kidding? ----All the time I think) about being a mother and the joys and fears that accompany it. I get lost in thoughts about what brand of diapers I will use and whether sleeping on their back or tummy is better. I know this sounds silly but when I get really caught up in longing for a child and start to feel down I start to dig through all the loads of baby clothes I have already bought. And I look over each item like I've never seen it before, enjoying the moment as if it were the first. I know you may think that it would make me feel more down (and I use the word "down" and not "depressed" because I hate that word) to go through baby clothes that are for a baby I CAN'T even conceive!!! Frusterating as it is it somehow puts the excitement and joy back into trying. [Side Note: what is "trying" anyway? Is that just a fancy word for people to say instead of SEX??? YES WE HAVE SEX!! GET OVER IT!!!] Back to the subject:
I have talked to a few people resently that when they ask me how long Derek and I have been trying to have a baby and I tell them 8 months, this is what they say....."Well, that's not bad at all. Just look at so and so, they tried for 4 years to have their baby."..............Well, whoopty doo!! I don't want to wait no 4 years before I get pregnant. I'm about ready to pull my hair out at how long it's ready been. I believe more for myself than that....does that even make any sense??
So this is the verse that I stand on today:
"I prayed for this child and the Lord granted me what I asked." 1 Samuel 1:27
I believe for myself and my family that this too shall pass; this season of longing. When I have that little bundle of absolute goodness in my arms will I even remember these long 8 months? They seem like eternity now but will they forever? Probably not. So in that I believe and I stay strong.
And there will still be the days that I will rifle through those baby clothes just because the want is so overwhelming. But "that too shall pass".
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Nonsense
Posted by Veronica at 7:55 PM
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2 comments:
"Trying", haha....love it.
I love you Veronica, God has truly brought you into my life at the most perfect time. Thank you for your honesty and genuine spirit.
...and thank you for the update too! =)
This post made me tear up... I do the same thing. We have been trying for 3+ years & it sucks. People are ignorant to how painful infertility is & say things that they don't realize are hurtful. I've been through many of those comments & it's extremely hard to keep my mouth shut (LOL), but I do! At least most of the time, I do! :)
I also have many baby items that are hard to go through now... had to have my husband put them up in storage where it's just out of the way. :(
Many wishes of motherhood for you!
PS- Found you through Christy's blog, too!
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