This is what will get me through the next week.

Your love oh Lord reaches to the heavens, Your faithfulness stretches to the sky.

Lord,
Being as honest as possible, this week sucks. I am doing my best to see the goal and the plan - the prize that is coming. But I am struggling. I have not lost my faith it is just being tried today. Satan keeps throwing seeds of doubt into my thoughts. I want to be rid of them and I keep rebuking him but they keep coming. I am standing on the promises You have given me. I AM! Everytime an unfaithful thought enters my thought I dismiss it and replace it with a promise You have made me. I know You have not brought me this far in the last few weeks just to drop me now. I believe you when you said "Adam lay with his wife Eve, and she became pregnant and gave birth to Cain. She said, "With the help of the LORD I have brought forth a man." and I stand on Your word and your promise when you said "May God Almighty bless you and make you fruitful and increase your numbers until you become a community of peoples." There are so many times that You have made these promises and I stand on those now!! You are so Holy! I live and thrive just to serve you. You have blessed me abuntantly and for this I am forever thankful. Feeling the way I do I am armed with Your promises and I confess them and claim them over my life and over my baby. JESUS YOU ROCK! Thank you for listening in my state of distress.

Waiting...

...it sucks.

in Jesus' name!

You are good and You are faithful

You're the Rock I will cling to

Your Word is strong enough to finish

Everything You said You'd do.



Your promises and Your love are ever faithful. I live for You. I hear Your words. I stand on Your promises and claim them over my life. Your blessings overwhelm me. Glory be to You because You are my God. I praise Your name. Holy be the Lord. I bow in submission to Your ways and Your will. You are greater than I and in this moment and forever I choose You! You promised me life and life more abundantly. I claim that. You promised me children and I claim that too. You said to not fear and to not be afraid so now I command fear and anxiety to depart from me. There is no place in my life for that. You are the highest of high and long to seek Your face. Your glory shines on me. It's abundant...Your love and Your peace. I choose peace over stress. I choose life over death over myself and my baby. In the name of Jesus. In You do I trust. In You do I put my faith. Thank You for the life You've given me and thank You for my babies life. I stand and claim this over me and my life. I will have a positive pregnancy test the morning of February 5th 2008. I will have a healthy 40 week pregnancy - healthy for me and my baby. I will have a boy. And his name will be Tyde Gable Smith. He will have blonde straight hair and blue eyes. He will weigh no less than 9lbs. but no more than 9.5lbs. EVERY ORGAN IN HIS BODY WILL WORK PROPERLY AND PERFECTLY. I CLAIM THIS IN JESUS' HOLY NAME!

Psalms 36:5 Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies.

Psalms 40:10 I do not hide your righteousness in my heart; I speak of your faithfulness and salvation. I do not conceal your love and your truth from the great assembly.

Psalms 71:22 I will praise you with the harp for your faithfulness, O my God; I will sing praise to you with the lyre, O Holy One of Israel.

Psalms 89:33 but I will not take my love from him, nor will I ever betray my faithfulness.

Psalms 100:5 For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.

1 Samuel 1:27 I prayed for this child and the Lord granted me what I asked.

Faith...to move moutains

The last blog I posted I made the comment, and I quote "...baby clothes that are for a baby I CAN'T even conceive!!!". This comment is from the pit of hell!! I rebuke it in the name of Jesus. I can conceive and I will conceive. I am standing on God's promises for my life and my baby.

I HAVE FAITH...FAITH TO MOVE MOUNTAINS!!! FAITH TO HAVE MY BABY!!

IN THE NAME OF JESUS!!!

Nonsense

Updated just for you Christy!! haha

Occasionally I think (ok who are we kidding? ----All the time I think) about being a mother and the joys and fears that accompany it. I get lost in thoughts about what brand of diapers I will use and whether sleeping on their back or tummy is better. I know this sounds silly but when I get really caught up in longing for a child and start to feel down I start to dig through all the loads of baby clothes I have already bought. And I look over each item like I've never seen it before, enjoying the moment as if it were the first. I know you may think that it would make me feel more down (and I use the word "down" and not "depressed" because I hate that word) to go through baby clothes that are for a baby I CAN'T even conceive!!! Frusterating as it is it somehow puts the excitement and joy back into trying. [Side Note: what is "trying" anyway? Is that just a fancy word for people to say instead of SEX??? YES WE HAVE SEX!! GET OVER IT!!!] Back to the subject:

I have talked to a few people resently that when they ask me how long Derek and I have been trying to have a baby and I tell them 8 months, this is what they say....."Well, that's not bad at all. Just look at so and so, they tried for 4 years to have their baby."..............Well, whoopty doo!! I don't want to wait no 4 years before I get pregnant. I'm about ready to pull my hair out at how long it's ready been. I believe more for myself than that....does that even make any sense??

So this is the verse that I stand on today:

"I prayed for this child and the Lord granted me what I asked." 1 Samuel 1:27

I believe for myself and my family that this too shall pass; this season of longing. When I have that little bundle of absolute goodness in my arms will I even remember these long 8 months? They seem like eternity now but will they forever? Probably not. So in that I believe and I stay strong.

And there will still be the days that I will rifle through those baby clothes just because the want is so overwhelming. But "that too shall pass".